Eve, listen to me. The man you think is your husband isn’t. Well, Baby O, it’s not exactly mai-tais and Yahtzee out here — but let’s do it. I think the wife and me are splitting up. Her point is that we’re both kind of selfish and unrealistic, so we’re not really good for each other. Where there’s a will, there’s a weapon.

Unless you’re a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle. It’s a grunge thing. Now, what would my daughter think of me if I left you to be dishonored and die? Ugly all day. The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.